A Compassionate Path to Eating Disorder Recovery

Eating disorders are complex. They are not just about food, weight, or appearance—they are deeply rooted in emotional pain and, often, a need for control or safety. Whether you or someone you love is struggling, know this: eating disorders are rarely simply about the food.

As a therapist who specializes in eating disorder treatment, I’ve had the privilege of walking beside clients through some of their most vulnerable moments. This work has shown me over and over again that recovery is not only real, but transformative. If you’re reading this and wondering whether healing is truly possible, I want you to know: it is.

Understanding Eating Disorders: More Than Meets the Eye

Eating disorders come in many forms and affect people across all ages, genders, body types, ethnicities, and backgrounds. They are not always visible from the outside. People of all body shapes and sizes can experience eating disorders.

Some of the most common eating disorders include:

• Anorexia Nervosa: Characterized by restriction of food intake, intense fear of gaining weight, and a distorted body image.

• Bulimia Nervosa: Involves cycles of binge eating followed by the compensatory behaviour of purging.

• Binge Eating Disorder (BED): Involves recurring episodes of consuming large quantities of food, often rapidly and to the point of discomfort, without compensatory behaviors.

• Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID): A pattern of eating disturbances often tied to sensory issues or fear of aversive consequences, not driven by body image concerns.

• Orthorexia (not yet officially recognized in the DSM): An unhealthy obsession with "clean" or "healthy" eating that can severely disrupt a person’s life.

While each disorder has unique traits, they all share a common thread: emotional distress expressed through food and the body.

Myths That Get in the Way of Healing

Eating disorders are surrounded by harmful myths that can delay treatment and deepen shame. Let’s dispel a few:

• “You don’t look like you have an eating disorder.” Eating disorders do not have a “look.” People of all sizes can experience eating disorders.

• “It’s just a phase.” Eating disorders are serious mental health conditions that require professional support and are not to be brushed off. They are the most fatal psychiatric illness.

• “If they would just eat, they’d be fine.” Recovery is not just about eating differently, it’s about healing psychologically as well.

• “They’re just doing it for attention.” There is immense shame that comes with an eating disorder and it is a mental illness that no one would willfully choose.

Letting go of these myths opens the door for empathy, intervention, and hope.

What Recovery Really Looks Like

Recovery from an eating disorder is not a straight line. It’s more like a winding path—filled with highs and lows, setbacks and breakthroughs. That’s not a sign of failure. It’s how real, meaningful change works.

Here’s what recovery may involve:

1. Reconnecting with the Body

Many people with eating disorders feel disconnected from their bodies—either ignoring hunger cues or feeling at war with their physical selves. In recovery, we begin to rebuild trust with the body: listening, responding, and caring for it rather than controlling or punishing it.

2. Addressing the Root Causes

Eating disorders often serve a function: numbing emotional pain, providing a sense of control, or coping with trauma, anxiety, or low self-worth. Therapy creates space to explore and heal these underlying issues.

3. Rewriting the Inner Dialogue

The inner critic in eating disorders can be relentless. Part of recovery is learning to challenge that voice and cultivate a new one- one rooted in compassion, curiosity, and self-acceptance.

4. Creating a Life Beyond the Disorder

As healing progresses, clients begin to rediscover who they are beyond the eating disorder - reconnecting with passions, relationships, values, and dreams that may have been buried or put on hold.

What Progress Looks Like (Even When It’s Hard to See)

Recovery looks different for everyone and progress can take many forms. Sometimes, it might look like one of these things:

• Eating in a social setting with friends despite feeling anxious

• Choosing rest instead of compulsive exercise

• Recognizing a trigger before acting on it

• Crying instead of restricting

• Feeling an emotion fully, without numbing

These moments are profound victories. They may seem small, but they are the building blocks of sustainable healing.

For Those Who Love Someone Struggling

If someone you care about is living with an eating disorder, you may feel confused, helpless, or scared. You don’t need to have all the answers but your support makes a difference.

Here’s what can help:

• Listen without judgment.

• Avoid comments about weight, food, or appearance. Take a neutral stance to all bodies and food.

• Educate yourself about eating disorders. Meet with an eating disorder therapist yourself to gain a deep understanding of this psychiatric illness.

• Encourage professional help

• Practice patience. Recovery takes time and there will be ups and downs

Taking the First Step

If you’re considering therapy- or just wondering if your relationship with food and body is something to look at- that curiosity is enough. The first step doesn’t have to be big. It might be a phone call. A journal entry. A conversation.

And if you’re further along in your healing, know that setbacks don’t erase progress. Every part of your story matters. Every part deserves care.

Final Thoughts: You Are worthy of recovery

Eating disorders often leave people feeling like the eating disorder is their safe place for finding their worth, validation and comfort.

Recovery is about coming home to yourself. It’s about learning that you are enough as you are- not because of your weight, your achievements, or your willpower- but simply because you exist. You are worthy.

If you or a loved one is navigating an eating disorder, I invite you to reach out. You don’t have to do it alone. Healing is possible, and you are deserving of it.

Let’s take that first step together.

To learn more about therapy for eating disorders or to schedule a virtual consultation, please contact me using the button below.

The Body Image Course is a wonderful self guided e-course to compliment therapy for people living with eating disorders and their support people. Through powerful video lessons, reflective journaling prompts, and unique guided meditations, you’ll explore the roots of body image struggles, uncover the toxic impact of diet culture, and learn practical tools to build body image resilience.

Body Shame Keeps Us Anxious & Distracted

We aren’t born hating our bodies, however most of us can find something we don’t like about ours.  Toddlers don’t hate their chunky thighs or chubby cheeks. This critical eye in which we view our bodies is something we learn to do. We learn it through small moments. We hear our grandmother compliment our sister’s recent weight loss. Our friend makes a comment while the two of you are out for lunch about how she must order a salad to stick to her diet. In these moments, we are subtly receiving the message that our body needs to live up to the thin ideal, thinner is better, and we must be in constant pursuit to be shrinking our bodies in order to be accepted, or to be viewed as successful or worthy.

We see and hear this type of messaging constantly, more than we might even consciously realize. We start to internalize the message of “your body isn’t good enough” until we think it’s our own voice in our head. It’s not. It's the voice of the body shaming society that we live in. 

Body shame is the intense feeling that there is something wrong with our body the way it is. This can lead to the relentless pursuit to change it or hide it. Body shame causes us to shrink the full expression of ourselves and tells us that our bodies are wrong because we don’t look how we “should”. Body shame can cause isolation, and can cause us to be distrusting of others. We don’t want to get close to others because we are scared of being judged, assessed, evaluated or hurt.

Where Does My Body Shame Come From? 

Your grandmother that compliments other’s weight loss or your friend that talks about their diet, they are not the root cause of your body shame. They are a small part of a much larger picture of generational dieting and diet culture disguised as promoting health that we have absorbed and understood as rules and expectations for how we should look. They haven’t yet begun to challenge and think critically about the systems that contribute to body shame. 

What Can We Do About It? 

We can ditch external rules about food and exercise. When you are hungry, check in with yourself and not a calorie counting app. Move your body because it feels good and lifts your mood, not to close rings. We can let go of external expectations and turn towards internal cues and what feels good to you.

We can have body shame free friends and role models that live in their body without apology, that live with food freedom and don’t let body shame get in their the way. 

When others make comments that perpetuate body shaming, gently explain why it is harmful. We are the people that make up society, so if we would like to change the body shaming ways of society we have to start at the individual level. 

The problem is not your body, the problem is your thoughts about it and the societal messaging we have received that maintains those thoughts. Body shame and living in diet culture keeps you busy, anxious and distracted. Worrying about how you look is a distraction from discovering true self and living freely. If you’d like to explore who you would be and what your life would be like without diet culture and body shame, get in touch with Dana for a 1:1 session.

Author Bio 

Dana Etherington is an Occupational Therapist, Psychotherapist and owner of Cedar Tree Therapy in Whitby, Ontario. Cedar Tree Therapy specializes in treating teens and young adults with anxiety, perfectionism and body image issues. 

www.cedartreetherapy.com

IG: @cedartreetherapy 

Fostering healthy body image

Perhaps you’ve noticed that you teen is overly critical of their body, and is making attempts to hide how they look. Bringing up your concerns with your teen’s body image can be a tense topic. This post is aimed at helping parents discuss the challenging topic of body image with their teens. This conversation can be important for all young people who are learning how to love their bodies as they change and grow. It is especially important if you suspect that your teen is struggling with body image and self esteem. 

Start the conversation with validation. Create an atmosphere of safety and openness by telling them they are not alone in what they are feeling. 

You could say something like:

“ It’s normal to have some bad body image days, some days where you don't feel so comfortable in your body.” 

Go on to say: 

“It's important that you know that your worth isn’t determined by your appearance. Regardless of how you look, you are still worthy of people’s time, attention and respect. I hear that you would like to have the “perfect” body. What I think you might mean is that you would like to feel comfortable in your body. We can feel comfortable in our bodies regardless of their shape or size. Your body is not something to feel shame or guilt about, your body does so much for you and serves you in so many ways.” 

The conversation can be concluded by reinforcing the teen’s own unique qualities and strengths that are not related to appearance. 

You can encourage your teen to try out the following practical strategies if they are struggling with body image. 

• Stop comparing. As hard as it may be, resist the urge to compare yourself to others.

• Unfollow social media accounts that lead you to not feel good about your body. Any accounts promoting potentially harmful behaviours or products don't need your attention.

There are some do’s and don’ts for promoting positive body image with our teenage children. As a parent, don’t comment on a stranger's body, your own body or your teen’s body. Even if you are making a compliment, remain neutral about bodies.
Lastly, the most important tip of all — model positive body image. Teens absorb so much about how they feel about their body from how parents feel about theirs. Remove all “diet” language from the family conversations. Modelling acceptance of your own body will help your teen with acceptance of theirs.

 Author Bio

Dana Etherington is an Occupational Therapist, Psychotherapist and is the owner of Cedar Tree Therapy.  Cedar Tree Therapy is a psychotherapy practice that serves clients 13 and up all across Ontario with anxiety and body image challenges. Dana’s eating disorder experience comes from working in adolescent residential eating disorders treatment centres.