Despite having masters level education in mental health, and even though I live in the mental health world and talk about mental health all day, I’ve had to put some serious work into figuring out what helps to get me out of the hole of anxiety. As a therapist, I’ve compiled some of the things that I personally feel are helpful to me when I find my anxiety taking over. Read on to find out about what helps me personally when I am feeling anxious.
Routines and schedules. Having a routine helps to make decisions as simple as possible and streamlines a lot of things. There is no choice to make about how your morning will go, it is already a set and predictable routine that you could do on autopilot. I do not give myself endless choices, but rather predictability. Take something as simple as what I am having for breakfast. Its going to be one of 2 options and I am not left with being caught up in taking to to make the “right” decision.
Speaking of making decisions- many people with anxiety struggle with this, and may seek out the opinion of every other person in their life to be SURE they’ve made the right one. The reality is no one can make decision about your life but you. Begin the process of trusting yourself. Choose what your intuition feels drawn to and don’t look back from it once you’ve committed ! Listening to your intuition involves allowing yourself the space to not be busy, to be quiet and to be with yourself. It’s very hard to hear your intuition while scrolling through your phone, always working or always with others.
Planning ahead with a paper agenda, family calendar app. Planning helps to give me a sense of control and calm. This especially helps when I feel like my to do list is piling up, its always helpful to get things onto paper.
For that never ending to do list that occupies so much of your mind: heres one tip. Do the thing you want to do the LEAST, first. I’ve always used this method for tackling my to do lists and once you get the first thing done, it makes everything else on the list feel so easy . This method may not work for everyone, some people find a sense of momentum built by completing lots of smaller tasks first before tackling the big one. In my experience, the one big daunting task is what’s driving that procrastination and resistance.
Another note on procrastination, try using the 5 minute rule. Commit to doing a task for only 5 minutes. After the 5 minutes has passed, assess how you feel and see if you might want to keep going. Most of the time, getting the task started is the hardest part.
Procrastination Tip 3- Some things (most things) don’t need to be perfect, they just need to be DONE.
When things are organized and again, are predictable, I feel less anxious.
Making time each day for movement helps to regulate my mood- Exercise, even just walking, yoga, or 20 minute work out on an app. It doesn’t have to be the most intense workout you’ve ever done, it just needs to be something. Whether I feel so tired and need an energetic boost, or feel so anxious and need to burn off steam, movement that I enjoy always helps.
Meditation - Insight timer or Calm App offer some great free options to get started . So many times I have heard that “meditation is not for me” or “I can’t do it”. Ditch the judgment, give yourself a chance and let go of expectations of what meditation is “supposed” to be and let the experience happen however it does for you. Start with guided meditations to allow yourself to focus on the voice and story of the speaker. Meditation is a great way to begin to tune into your own body, your own intuition and develop that sense of self trust and self knowing I mentioned earlier.
Reading. This really helps me to wind down at the end of the day and also really helps to get out of my head and to not be wrapped up in my own thoughts and to be wrapped up in the story instead.
Prioritizing sleep. I have a very strict bedtime and hate when it gets interrupted. I have found that for me, and for most people, it is very hard to feel mentally well without sleep. Think of sleep as one of the foundational pieces of good mental health.
Limiting caffeine. Drinking caffeine can cause your body to feel many of the same symptoms as when you feel anxious. IF I drink coffee, I will have my cup with breakfast so the caffeine has time to get out of my system before bed time so it does not impact my sleep. When I drink tea, I opt for a caffeine free tea.
I take Sundays off social media. Limiting social media one day per week (Sundays) with Apple’s downtime scheduler helps me to feel more connected to my life as it is happening right in front of me. I try to limit the use of my phone in general on this one day. It helps me to disconnect from work, aimless scrolling, online shopping and good old doctor google.
One last self care tip for anxiety that helps me so much and is so simple is - get dressed. Get dressed every day. It doesn’t have to be jeans, just get out of your pyjamas. Brush your hair. Wash your face. Even when you don’t feel like it, make it a nonnegotiable part of your morning routine.
There are so many other tips and strategies that could be talked about based on the source of your anxiety and what your worries tend to be. These self care strategies for anxiety are general. More specific strategies for example with anxiety related to your health, or feeling anxious in relationships, managing panic attacks would be best discussed with a therapist. Many of these strategies I’ve talked about here would help to support your mental health in general.
As homework, make a note in your phone of the things your need to do for yourself in order to feel mentally well, what you know works for you. If you don’t know what works well for you yet, it’s time to go through the trial and error process of figuring out what does. An easy place to start might be making a list of what DOESNT work for you. Maybe it’s that glass of wine every night. Maybe it’s those 2+ coffees a day, maybe it’s using cannabis. All of these things are very likely to make anxiety worse in the long run, even if they may seem to help in the moment. Reference your “what I need to be well” List when you find yourself slipping and see where you might be able to put yourself back on the right course.
If you take one thing away from what you’ve read here, let it be do things for how you want to feel, not based on how you do feel in the moment.