Perinatal Mental Health

When Mother’s Day Isn’t Simple: Holding Space for All Experiences

Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate the nurturing, strength, and love that mothers bring into the world. For many, it’s a day of gratitude, and celebration. However, it is important to recognize that this day may bring about a complex mix of emotions for others. Some may feel joy and appreciation, while others may experience grief, pain, longing, or unresolved feelings regarding their relationships with their mothers or their role as mothers themselves.

For some, Mother’s Day can highlight feelings of loss—whether through the absence of a mother, difficult relationships, or unmet expectations. It’s a day that can amplify feelings of loneliness or sadness, or maybe as a longing for the connection with your mother that you had always hoped for.

We hold space for all of these experiences and encourage individuals to honour their feelings, whatever they may be. Connecting with one’s inner self and understanding your personal narratives can help in managing the array of feelings that may surface. We are here to guide you through the emotional landscape this day may provoke, allowing for a deep exploration of both the joys and challenges of mother-child relationships.

For Those Who Are Mothers

We see the emotional labor, the invisible mental load, and the deep desire to show up for your children—while often working through your own healing. Whether you're parenting while managing anxiety, navigating eating disorder recovery, or trying to parent differently than you were parented, you are doing brave work.

On this day you might be trying to hide your disappointment from feeling let down by your family or partner for not celebrating and acknowledging you in a way that makes you feel appreciated. Or maybe you’re dealing with the guilt of wanting your gift this Mother’s Day to spend time away from your family. We all need to re-fill our cup up sometimes. We see you in the parenting trenches raising the next generation.

For Those Who Lost a Mother

Grief can feel especially raw around Mother’s Day. Whether your mother passed recently or many years ago, your pain and complicated emotions are valid. You're not alone in missing her presence or thinking of what was left unsaid.

For Those With Complicated Mother Relationships

If your relationship with your mother was hurtful, distant, or traumatic, today might be triggering. Mother’s Day often idealizes parenting—but we honor your experience too. You deserve compassion as you sort through these wounds and find your path forward.

For Those Longing to Become Mothers

This day can be particularly challenging for individuals and couples navigating the complexities of infertility or grieving the loss of a pregnancy or child. The emotional weight of longing for a child can be overwhelming, often accompanied by a mix of sadness and frustration. Each holiday that passes is another holiday where you thought you would be pregnant. Or maybe you find yourself imaging what this day would be like with the child that you lost.

Allowing yourself to grieve, to feel the weight of longing, and to express frustration can be a healing and validating step in the process. We see your pain and understand the complexity of your emotions, reminding you that you are not alone on this path.

To The Step Mothers

On this Mother’s Day, we also want to recognize stepmothers—those who step into a child’s life with care, patience, and often without clear recognition. Being a stepmother can mean navigating complex dynamics, blurred boundaries, and emotional history, all while offering support and love. It’s a role often lived in the in-between—not quite “mom,” but deeply invested in the well-being of the children in your care. Whether you’ve raised them from a young age or are still finding your place in their lives, your presence matters. Your efforts to build trust and connection, even when it’s hard or unreciprocated, reflect a profound form of emotional labor. We see you, and we honor the resilience, grace, and courage you bring to this role.

To the Divorced Mothers

To all the mothers navigating life after divorce, we see your strength. Parenting through and after separation often brings emotional challenges—grief, guilt, loneliness, or the stress of co-parenting dynamics. You may be carrying more than your share, emotionally and practically, while still trying to show up with love and presence for your children. This Mother’s Day, we want to acknowledge the resilience it takes to hold both your own healing and your child’s needs at the same time. Your efforts may go unseen, but they are deeply impactful. You are doing incredibly hard and meaningful work—and it deserves to be honored.

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We HolD All the Stories

No matter what Mother’s Day means to you, your feelings are important, and worth exploring. Therapy can be a safe space to unpack these emotions and make sense of the role motherhood plays—or has played—in your life.

Today, we honour the complexity of motherhood.

We honour those who mother others.
We honour those healing from the pain of their own mothers.
We honour mothers in recovery, and those raising children while breaking cycles.
We honour your strength, your softness, your survival.

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About the Author

Dana Etherington is an Occupational Therapist, Psychotherapist and the owner of Cedar Tree Therapy, a psychotherapy practice located in Brooklin, Ontario. Dana uses evidence based treatment modalities to treat anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), disordered eating and complex family relationships.

Flora's Walk Durham Region 2024

My Why

Discussing perinatal mental health is so important to me as this period can be the most difficult time in a new mother or mother to be’s life. By shedding light on this topic, we can promote awareness, provide support, and ultimately foster healthier outcomes for families during this critical stage. It is my passion to advocate for mental well-being during the perinatal period, recognizing the profound influence it has on the overall health and wellbeing of both parents and their children.

As a mother of two, I deeply understand the challenges that the perinatal period can bring. My wish is that other women feel that that can open up and talk to others about their struggles, without having to wear the mask of being the “perfect mother” all of the time.

Motherhood can be a complex journey filled with a range of emotions including comparison to others, experiences of shaming, overwhelming guilt, the constant flux of change, disruptions to familiar routines, and the persistent sense of not meeting one's own expectations or standards. If we can have more open conversations about the challenges of the perinatal period and normalize seeking support when we need it, we can prevent tragic outcomes such as Flora’s from occurring.

This year is the 3rd annual Flora’s Walk for Perinatal Mental Health in support of the Canadian Perinatal Mental Health Collaborative (cpmhc.ca) a non profit organization working to improve perinatal mental health care in Canada.

The Why Behind the Walk - About Flora

Flora’s lifelong dream was to be a mother. At 44 years old, after years of fertility treatments, Flora, a single mom by choice of Toronto, Ontario, finally and happily became pregnant. Flora experienced anxiety throughout her pregnancy. Her family noticed her calling the hospital weekly requesting extra ultrasounds to make sure that her baby was okay.

After the birth of her daughter, Flora experienced physical health complications that required her to be hospitalized and separated from her baby.

Flora’s family recalls noticing extreme changes in her mood. They worked hard to get Flora help. They tried enrolling her in a perinatal mental health program but Flora didn’t want to see a health care professional because she was afraid Amber would be taken away from her. Flora’s family managed to speak with a doctor over the phone on Thursday and made an appointment for Flora to see the doctor in person on Monday. 

Tragically, on the Friday, the next day after her family spoke with the doctor, Flora passed away. As a result of undiagnosed and untreated postpartum psychosis, Flora tragically died by suicide two months after baby Amber was born.

Team Durham Region

In lieu of a walk, Team Durham Region has chosen to host Flora’s Flow, a yoga event on May 5th 12:30 -2:30, located at 351 Frankcom Street, Ajax (HER Fit Camp).

Your donation of $35 or more will provide you 1 ticket to Floras Flow on May 5. Please contact herfitcampdurham@gmail.com for your ticket to the event once you have made your donation

Click Here to DONATE HERE & Join us at Flora’s Flow

Hope to see you there!