When Thoughts Feel Like Threats: Understanding Intrusive Thoughts

In our practice, we often meet people who’ve been carrying a secret fear for a long time, one they rarely speak aloud. It usually begins with a question:

“Why would I think something like that?”

Maybe you’ve had a sudden image flash through your mind. Maybe something violent, inappropriate, or completely unlike you. Or maybe a disturbing question loops through your thoughts all day, no matter how hard you try to stop it. These aren’t signs you’re broken. They’re called intrusive thoughts, and they’re more common, and more treatable than most people realize.

This post explores what intrusive thoughts are, why they happen, how they show up in real life, and how Cedar Tree Therapy helps clients regain peace of mind.

What Are Intrusive Thoughts?

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted mental events: images, ideas, impulses, or doubts that feel jarring and uncomfortable. They show up suddenly, often at the worst times, and tend to focus on taboo or fear-inducing themes. What makes them especially upsetting is that they seem to contradict your values or identity.

Examples Include:

• “What if I swerve my car into traffic?”

• “What if I touched something toxic and didn’t realize it?”

• “What if I accidentally harmed someone?”

• “Do I really love my partner, or is something wrong with me?”

• “What if I’m secretly a bad person?”

These thoughts can feel so out-of-place and intense that people begin questioning their character, morality, or mental stability.

Important Note: Everyone has random thoughts, but for people with OCD or anxiety disorders, these thoughts become distressing obsessions. The brain reacts as though the thought itself is a threat.

Why Are Intrusive Thoughts So Disturbing?

Let’s be clear: intrusive thoughts don’t feel random. They feel dangerous, personal, and urgent. This is where the obsessive-compulsive cycle can take hold.

How It Typically Plays Out:

1. An intrusive thought occurs: “What if I just screamed in this quiet room?”

2. You feel anxiety, guilt, or shame: “What’s wrong with me?”

3. You try to make the thought go away: by checking, avoiding, praying, confessing, or mentally analyzing, engaging in compulsions

4. Temporary relief … until the thought returns

This pattern is exhausting and can make a person feel like they’re constantly at war with their own mind. The real problem isn’t the thought itself, it’s the meaning the brain assigns to it and the desperate effort to make it go away.

Common Themes of Intrusive Thoughts

At Cedar Tree Therapy, we help people work through all kinds of intrusive thought content. While no two experiences are exactly alike, here are some of the most common themes:

1. Harm OCD

• Fears about accidentally or intentionally harming someone

• E.g., “What if I dropped my baby?” or “What if I stabbed someone?”

2. Sexual Intrusive Thoughts

• Disturbing sexual images or fears related to taboo topics

• These thoughts are particularly shame-inducing but don’t reflect desires

3. Religious or Moral OCD (Scrupulosity)

• Obsessions about sinning, being impure, or violating moral rules

4. Contamination OCD

• Fears of germs, illness, or spreading harm through touch or presence

5. Relationship OCD (ROCD)

• Endless doubt about whether you're in the "right" relationship

6. Existential OCD

• Obsessive questioning about life, reality, consciousness, or death

Why Do Intrusive Thoughts Happen?

Intrusive thoughts are a byproduct of a high-functioning, threat-sensitive brain. The human brain constantly scans for danger and sometimes, especially in people with OCD or high anxiety, it over-fires.

• For example: A parent with strong moral values imagines harming their child and feels horrified. Their anxiety goes up, and their brain mistakenly assumes the thought itself is dangerous.

• Result: They avoid being alone with the child, seek reassurance, or mentally review every interaction—just to feel safe.

This reinforces the idea that the thought was dangerous and should be avoided, thus keeping the cycle going.

The Role of Shame

One of the most painful aspects of intrusive thoughts is the isolation they cause. People don’t talk about them, not even with close friends or partners because they’re afraid they’ll be misunderstood.

At Cedar Tree Therapy, we emphasize this truth with our clients:

Intrusive thoughts show you your values—not your desires.

OCD loves to latch onto the things that you value the most. Of course you would want to protect what you value and experience fear, anxiety and distress if those things are threatened by your thoughts. You’re not broken. You’re someone with a brain that’s reacting to stress or trauma.

What Helps: How We Treat Intrusive Thoughts

1. ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention)

ERP is the gold-standard treatment for OCD and intrusive thoughts. In ERP, you practice allowing the thoughts to exist without doing the usual rituals (checking, avoiding, seeking reassurance). ERP is highly structured, and at Cedar Tree Therapy, we deliver it gently, with your full collaboration and consent.

2. Mindfulness and Acceptance-Based Approaches

Mindfulness helps you observe thoughts like passing weather, not personal attacks. Instead of “fixing” every thought, you practice saying:

“There’s that thought again. I don’t have to do anything about it.”

This takes practice, but over time it builds cognitive flexibility—the ability to stay grounded, even when the mind gets loud.

3. Trauma-Informed Care

For clients with past trauma, intrusive thoughts can carry an even heavier emotional load. Our therapists are trained to spot trauma-related patterns and work at a pace that feels safe, respectful, and empowering.

4. Self-Compassion Work

Shame feeds the OCD cycle. Self-compassion helps unwind it. You’ll learn to talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend in the same situation.

How to Talk About Intrusive Thoughts (Without Fueling Them)

Talking about intrusive thoughts can help—but how you talk about them matters. If you’re constantly seeking reassurance from friends, partners, or Google, you might unintentionally be reinforcing the OCD cycle.

Instead, focus on:

• Naming the thought (“This is an intrusive thought”)

• Noticing the urge to check or neutralize

• Practicing gentle redirection (“I'm choosing not to feed this loop today”)

Building a Safe Container for Healing

Therapy is about more than tools—it’s about relationship. At Cedar Tree Therapy, we don’t just give you coping strategies; we provide a safe, grounded space to explore what these thoughts mean to you, how they’ve impacted your life, and how you want to move forward.

We use a collaborative, non-pathologizing approach. You’ll never be rushed. You’ll never be shamed. You’ll always be treated as the expert on your own experience.

Frequently Asked Questions

Are intrusive thoughts normal?

Yes. Nearly everyone has intrusive thoughts. But for those with OCD or anxiety disorders, they become sticky and distressing.

Do intrusive thoughts mean I want to act on them?

No. In fact, the more distressed you are by a thought, the less likely you are to act on it.

Can therapy really help?

Absolutely. With proper support, clients can reduce the power of intrusive thoughts, develop a healthier relationship with their mind, and regain control of their lives.

Final Words

You are not your thoughts.
You are not alone.
And healing is possible.

If intrusive thoughts have been running your life, it might be time to take back the reins with support that feels steady, respectful, and rooted in understanding. Whether you’re looking for ERP, trauma-informed therapy, or simply someone who gets it, we’re here for you.

Ready to Begin?

How To Make the Most of Your Therapy Session

Do you ever attend your weekly therapy session, eager to have a safe space to express your emotions, only to find that once you're seated across from your therapist, your mind inexplicably goes blank? The weight of the previous week's experiences sits heavily on your shoulders, yet it all feels like a distant blur. Frustration and uncertainty wash over you as you desperately search for the right words to bring up what's truly important to you, in the hopes of making the most of this therapy session. In this blog post, we will explore effective strategies to help you make the most of your therapy session, ensuring that your therapy sessions become a sanctuary of self-expression and genuine progress.

Attending therapy sessions can be a valuable and transformative experience for individuals seeking support for their mental health. Optimizing every therapy session helps to ensure you get the most out of your experience. Whether you're new to therapy or have been attending sessions for a while, the therapists at Cedar Tree Therapy have compiled a list of valuable tips to help you maximize the effectiveness of each session. From preparing yourself mentally to setting goals and actively engaging during the session, these strategies will guide you towards a fulfilling therapeutic journey. So, let's dive in and discover how you can make the most of your therapy sessions.

1. Be Open and Honest: One of the most important factors in therapy is creating a safe and trusting environment. To establish this foundation, it is crucial to be open and honest with your therapist. Being vulnerable is so hard. There is no better place to be vulnerable than in therapy. Share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences without holding back. Remember, therapy is a judgment-free zone where you can freely express yourself.

2. Set Goals: Prior to each session, take some time to reflect on what you hope to achieve or discuss. Setting goals will help you stay focused and make the most of your therapy session. Whether it's working on specific coping techniques or addressing a particular issue, having clear objectives can guide the conversation and make the session more productive. Maybe it’s making sense of childhood trauma. Maybe it’s having a better relationship with your mom. Maybe it’s being able to express yourself and communicate more assertively in your relationship. Have these goals written down so that you’re able to come back to them often. Sharing these with your therapist is really important so that your therapist can be directing your session back to these goals as well. If you’re not sure what your goals might be, this is something that you and your therapist can discuss and work towards together, as well.

3. Come Prepared: It can be helpful to come prepared with any relevant information or topics you want to discuss during the session. Jot down your thoughts, questions, or concerns in advance, so you don't forget anything important. This will ensure that you maximize your time in therapy and address the areas that matter most to you.

4. Be Active and Engaged: Therapy is a collaborative process, and your active participation is key to its success. Engage in the conversation, ask questions, and seek clarification when needed. Remember that therapy is not a passive experience but an opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and skill-building. The more engaged you are, the more you will benefit from the session.

5. Take Notes: Consider bringing a notebook or using a note-taking app during your therapy session. Jotting down important insights, strategies, or homework assignments can help you remember and implement what you've learned outside of therapy. Notes can serve as a reference and reminder of the progress you've made throughout your therapeutic journey.

Keep a journal throughout the week of emotional highs and lows, things that were really exciting or not so great that happened to you. Take note between sessions of things that felt really good and also things that didn’t feel so good like difficult conversations and other emotional lows.

You will learn about several different therapy skills during your time in therapy. Write them down as you learn them and throughout the week record how you used each skill. Share with your therapist how you used each skill. This is important so that you can ensure that you’re using the skills as they’re meant to be used and getting the full understanding of them. Additionally, keeping track of the therapy skills you have learned is really helpful to have as a reference for when you graduate from therapy. You can revisit your journal of skills and refresh your memory to integrate the skills into your life if you feel like you could use a refresher. You can also ask your therapist for a “skill summary” if you have been in therapy for a while already and you’re not sure exactly what skills you have learned.

6. Practice Self-Care: Therapy sessions can sometimes bring up challenging emotions or topics. To support yourself during this process, practice self-care after your sessions. Develop a post-therapy self care ritual, perhaps a post therapy shower, or making and drinking a post therapy tea as you reflect on the session. Taking care of yourself will enhance your resilience and ability to engage fully in therapy.

7. Reflect After Your Sessions: After each session with your therapist, spend some time immediately following session where you write down important things that stuck out to your during the session. Maybe it’s something that your therapist said. Maybe it’s a realization that you came to during session. Take a second after your session with your therapist to write down feelings, thoughts, or anything that comes to mind. This can be really helpful because you can bring these things back to your next session and say, “This really stuck with me from last session, I’d like to explore it further.”

8. Communicate Your Expectations: If you have specific expectations or preferences regarding your therapy sessions, don't hesitate to communicate them to your therapist. Whether it's the frequency of sessions, the therapeutic approach, or any other concern, open and honest communication will help ensure that your needs are met effectively. Your feedback is so valuable and is always welcomed by your therapist.

9. Attend Therapy Consistently: It is crucial to attend therapy consistently in order to maximize its effectiveness. Research has consistently shown that therapy tends to decrease in its efficacy when individuals do not go regularly. Therefore, it is highly recommended to be consistent with your appointments and scheduling to ensure that you are receiving the full benefits of the therapy process. By maintaining a regular attendance, you create a sense of continuity and allow your therapist to properly assess your progress and provide you with the necessary support. So, make it a priority to attend your therapy sessions consistently and reap the maximum benefits from your therapy journey.

Remember, therapy is a gradual and individualized process that requires patience, dedication, and perseverance. It's important to understand that true transformation takes time, and there are no quick fixes when it comes to improving your mental health. By incorporating these practical tips into your daily life and fully engaging in your therapy sessions, you will be able to unlock the full potential therapy has to offer. Remember, each person's mental health journey is unique, so it is essential to approach your therapy with an open mind and a willingness to do the work necessary for lasting change. Through consistent effort and commitment, you will be able to make significant strides in your personal growth and experience an enhanced sense of well-being. So, embrace the process, and believe in yourself, as only you have the power to create positive change and lead a more fulfilling life.

About the Author

Dana Etherington is an Occupational Therapist, Psychotherapist and the Owner of Cedar Tree Therapy, a group psychotherapy practice located in Brooklin, Ontario.