Body Dysmorphia: Finding Peace in Your Body and Mind

Do you ever look in the mirror and feel like you have a massive flaw that everyone can’t avoid focusing on? Maybe it’s one flaw that feels enormous, or maybe it feels like everything about your body is wrong. You might hide, compare yourself constantly, or try to fix yourself in ways that never last.

If this feels familiar, you may be struggling with body dysmorphia. It’s not vanity. It’s not weakness. It’s a painful mental health challenge that affects how you see yourself. It can touch every part of your life: your relationships, work, and sense of self-worth.

At Cedar Tree Therapy in Whitby, we provide trauma-informed care and support to help you navigate these feelings. Healing is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone.

What Is Body Dysmorphia?

Body dysmorphia, also called Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), involves a significant preoccupation with perceived flaws in your appearance, flaws that are often minor or invisible to others.

You might:

• Spend hours checking or avoiding mirrors

• Compare yourself to others constantly, scrutinizing yourself

• Feel shame or disgust about your body

• Hide under clothing, hats, or makeup, attempting to camouflage the flaw

• Engage in skin picking

• Avoid social situations or photographs

• Seek out cosmetic interventions or surgery to change it

Sometimes these preoccupations or rituals are consuming hours of your day. You might even know your thoughts aren’t rationally accurate, but your emotional distress is very real.

The Emotional Impact of Body Dysmorphia

Living with body dysmorphia can feel overwhelming and isolating. You may feel:

• Like everyone is noticing the flaws you obsess over

• Ashamed of your body and your thoughts

• Too anxious to be seen, photographed, or touched

• Feeling like no one understand the distress and how the preoccupation is impacting your life

Healing Through Trauma Therapy in Whitby

Body dysmorphia can be connected to past trauma, including bullying, family criticism, or abuse. Trauma therapy in Whitby can help you explore the roots of these feelings, heal past wounds, and develop healthier ways to relate to your body.

Through trauma-informed therapy, you can:

• Challenge the harsh inner critic

• Build self-compassion and self-acceptance

• Develop coping strategies for anxiety and shame

• Understand and change cycles of harmful behaviours

Whether you are struggling with body image, eating disorders, or trauma, therapy can help you feel seen, supported, and understood.

You Deserve to Feel at Home in Your Body

Recovery doesn’t mean loving every inch of yourself immediately. It means taking small, compassionate steps toward freedom and living the live you desire.

At Cedar Tree Therapy, we specialize in trauma therapy in Whitby and eating disorder therapy in Durham Region. You don’t have to face body dysmorphia alone. With guidance, support, and care, it is possible to reclaim your life and finally feel at home in your body.

Take the first step today. Contact us to schedule a session and start your journey toward healing.

Binge Eating Disorder Therapy in Ontario

You’re Not Broken, You’re Coping

If you struggle with binge eating, you’ve likely spent a long time feeling frustrated with yourself.

You may have promised yourself this was the last time. You may have tried controlling food, avoiding certain foods, or “starting fresh” on Monday, only to find yourself back in the same painful cycle. And somewhere along the way, you may have started believing this means something is wrong with you.

At Cedar Tree Therapy, we want you to hear this clearly:

You are not broken.
Binge eating is not a lack of willpower. It is not a personal failure.
It is a coping strategy , one your body and nervous system learned for a reason.

When Food Feels Out of Control

Binge eating often doesn’t feel like a choice.

It can feel sudden, urgent, or automatic, like something takes over. In those moments, food may bring relief, numbness, grounding, or comfort. And then, once it’s over, the shame rushes in.

Many clients tell us the hardest part isn’t the eating itself, it’s the way they speak to themselves afterward.

Binge eating affects people of all body sizes and backgrounds. Binge eating is not the result of a lack of discipline, but a nervous system that has learned to survive under stress.

How Binge Eating Often Shows Up

Clients often describe binge eating as:

• Feeling powerless once eating starts

• Using food to cope with overwhelming emotions

• Eating in secret, followed by guilt or self-criticism

• Cycling between restriction and bingeing

• Feeling “out of control” around food, while appearing very in control everywhere else

Many people who binge eat are high-functioning, responsible, and deeply self-aware, yet food remains the place where everything feels messy and overwhelming.

Why Binge Eating Makes Sense

Binge eating doesn’t come out of nowhere.

It often develops during times when emotions felt too big, support felt unavailable, or safety felt uncertain. For many people, food became a reliable way to cope, a way to self-soothe, to feel grounded, or to get through moments that felt unbearable.

Your body learned that binge eating helped you survive.

Therapy isn’t about taking that coping strategy away. It’s about helping you feel safe enough that you no longer need it in the same way.

How Therapy at Cedar Tree Therapy Can Help

At Cedar Tree Therapy, we don’t focus on controlling food, we focus on understanding you.

Together, we gently explore what binge eating has been doing for you, while building new ways to cope that don’t leave you feeling ashamed or disconnected from your body.

Our work is:

• Trauma-informed and deeply compassionate

• Weight-inclusive and anti-diet

• Focused on emotional regulation and nervous system safety

• Grounded in evidence-based therapy, without shame or food rules

• Learn more about the services we provide for eating disorders here.

The goal isn’t perfection.
It’s feeling calmer, safer, and more at home in your body.

What Healing Can Look Like

Recovery doesn’t mean you never struggle again.

It often looks like:

• Less urgency around food

• Fewer binge episodes

• A quieter, kinder inner voice

• More trust in your body

• More space for rest, connection, and joy

Over time, food becomes just food, not a battleground.

Working With Cedar Tree Therapy

If you’re looking for Binge Eating Disorder therapy in Ontario, Cedar Tree Therapy offers a warm, non-judgmental space to explore your relationship with food at your own pace.

We work with adults who are tired of fighting their bodies and ready to approach healing with curiosity and compassion. Therapy is offered virtually across Ontario and in person at our office in Brooklin, Ontario.

Ready to take the next step?

If this post resonates, you don’t have to figure this out alone.

At Cedar Tree Therapy, we offer a calm, supportive space to explore binge eating with care, respect, and understanding.

Reach out today to learn more about binge eating disorder therapy in Ontario and begin building a gentler relationship with food and yourself. Want to learn more about our therapists? Click here.

Navigating Food Anxiety During the Holidays: A Therapist’s Guide for Durham Region Residents

The Holidays Can Be Especially Hard for Those With Food Anxiety

While many people look forward to festive meals, parties, and family gatherings, the holiday season can be overwhelming if you struggle with food anxiety, eating disorders, or body image issues.
Changes in routine, increased social expectations, and food-focused events often intensify symptoms, especially for individuals living with ARFID, OCD around contamination, restrictive eating, or binge–restrict cycles.

As a therapist supporting clients across Whitby, Oshawa, Brooklin, and the wider Durham Region, I see a noticeable rise in food-related anxiety every December. You’re not alone, and there are compassionate, evidence-based ways to navigate this season.

Why the Holidays Trigger Food Anxiety

1. Increased Social Pressure Around Eating

Around the holidays, there are many more opportunities for social gatherings and social meals. Your might be eating around people who are less familiar to you, that you only see a few times a year. You might be worried that people may comment on what (or how much) you’re eating, ask questions, or make unhelpful comments. You aren’t alone in these fears.

2. Changes in Your Usual routine

Shifts in schedules, sleep, meals, and movement routines can be destabilizing for people who rely on structure to keep their anxiety at bay. Many people with food anxiety find comfort in rigid eating schedules and predictable foods. This becomes a challenge during the holidays when social meals might happen off your usual schedule, or involve foods that are outside of your safe foods.

3. Fear of Judgment or Comparison

Holiday gatherings often bring together people you may not see regularly, extended family, family friends, coworkers, or partner’s relatives. While this can be enjoyable for some, it can also create a heightened sense of being observed, especially if you struggle with body image, eating concerns, or if you have worries about the perceptions that others have of you.

During these events, you might feel pressure to look a certain way, eat a certain way, or “appear well,” even if you’re navigating a difficult season internally. Many clients share that they walk into gatherings already anticipating comments such as:

• “You look so healthy!” (which may feel triggering or confusing)

• “Have you lost/gained weight?”

• “Are you going to have more?”

Even seemingly “positive” remarks can create anxiety because they bring the body into the spotlight. When we dig deeper into these comments, they are reinforcing that our bodies are the most important thing about us, a belief that we actively challenge in eating disorder work.

4. Exposure to Fear Foods

Buffets, potlucks, and unfamiliar foods can create anxiety, particularly for individuals with eating disorders or food-related OCD. The social pressure that you participate, and consume some of these feared foods can feel overwhelming at times. In therapy, we can talk about unique strategies to help you manage this.

Helpful Strategies to Cope With Food Anxiety This Holiday Season

1. Plan Ahead With a “Support Strategy”

Think through the events coming up and identify:

• What might be challenging

• What feels supportive

• What boundaries you may need

You might decide ahead of time how long you want to stay at an event, what conversation topics to redirect, or who you’ll sit with during meals.

2. Create Protective Boundaries Around Food Talk

It’s okay to gently shut down or redirect comments such as:

• “Are you sure you want seconds?”

• “I’m being so bad today.”

• “I thought you weren’t eating carbs anymore?”

You can say,
“I’m focusing on listening to my body today. (gently change the subject) Have you seen the latest episode of this show?”

3. Allow Flexible Thinking Instead of All-or-Nothing Rules

Holiday meals don’t need to be:

• Perfectly balanced

• Healthy and whole

• Under control

Granting yourself flexibility prevents the restrict → binge → shame cycle.

4. Keep Recovery-Supportive Routines Where You Can

You don’t need to maintain your exact daily schedule, but try to keep:

• regular meals

• hydration

• sleep hygiene

• medication routines

Structure helps stabilize symptoms during stressful periods.

How Therapy Can Help if the Holidays Feel Overwhelming

Working with a therapist can help you:

• challenge food-related fears & address the root of these fears

• reduce self-criticism

• build coping strategies

• navigate rituals connected to food or contamination

• support healing your relationship with eating

• prevent relapse during stressful seasons

If you live in Whitby, Oshawa, Brooklin, Courtice, Bowmanville, Ajax, or Pickering, you can access support from a therapist who specializes in:

• Eating Disorders

• Anxiety

• OCD

• ARFID

• Food/contamination fears

We also are able to virtually support anyone living in Ontario.

When to Seek Additional Support

Consider reaching out for therapy if you notice:

• Avoiding holiday events because of food

• Intense fear or guilt after eating

• Rigid rules or rituals around meals

• Escalating binge–restrict patterns

• Increased contamination fears

• Symptoms interfering with daily functioning

Early support can make a meaningful difference during high-stress months.

FAQs: Food Anxiety and the Holiday Season

1. Is food anxiety a sign of an eating disorder?

Persistent food-related fear, avoidance, or guilt may indicate something that needs attention. A therapist can help clarify what’s going on.

2. How can I support a loved one who struggles with food anxiety?

Offer nonjudgmental presence, avoid commenting on their plate, and check in privately about what they need to feel safe. Read the related blog post How To Help a Friend in Eating Disorder Recovery.

3. What if family members don’t understand my anxiety?

You can set boundaries, limit exposure, or bring a support person. Therapy can also help you build scripts for difficult conversations and support communication.

4. Can online therapy help with holiday stress and food anxiety?

Yes, virtual therapy is effective and accessible across Ontario, especially during a busy or triggering season.

5. What type of therapy helps with food anxiety?

It depends on your unique problems and presentation. At Cedar Tree Therapy, we have extensive eating disorder and food anxiety knowledge. We are able to pull from many different evidence based therapy frameworks to find an integrative approach that works best for you because of having close to a decade of experience in the field. The therapy interventions we often use might include but are not limited to:

• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

• Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) Therapy

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

• Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

• Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT)

• Internal Family Systems (IFS)

A tailored plan works best.

Ready to Get Support This Holiday Season?

If food-related anxiety or eating disorder symptoms intensify in December, you don’t have to navigate it alone.
I offer compassionate, evidence-based therapy for individuals across Durham Region and all of Ontario.

Book a therapy session or reach out to learn more about how I can support you.

AI and Body Image: Emerging Risks for Eating Disorders in Durham Region

Welcome to the Cedar Tree Therapy Mental Health Blog.

Cedar Tree Therapy is psychotherapy practice located in Whitby, Ontario that offers in person and virtual treatment to those living with eating disorders, among other things. TO learn more about the practice, visit the cedar tree therapy homepage, here.

If you or a loved one are looking for support in recovering from an eating disorder, book your complimentary virtual consultation with our therapists now.

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AI and Body Image: The Emerging Risks

As artificial intelligence (AI) becomes part of everyday life, it’s changing how people look for emotional support and mental health information. But for individuals living with eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia or ARFID) or body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), these tools may quietly do more harm than good.

If you’re seeking eating disorder therapy in Durham Region, it’s important to understand how digital technology can affect body image and recovery—and when professional support may be the healthier choice.

When Helpful Technology Becomes Harmful

AI chatbots are designed to engage users, not to provide accurate or therapeutic guidance. It is important to note, these programs often prioritize interaction over truth.

While they may sound caring and supportive, they can unintentionally:

• Reinforce unhealthy eating behaviors

• Validate distorted body image beliefs

• Share inaccurate or fabricated health information

• Promote weight-loss and diet culture content that can trigger relapse

For people already managing eating disorder symptoms, this misinformation can increase anxiety, shame, and self-criticism.

AI and the Risk of Biased Body Image Feedback

Eating disorder therapists are warned about another risk—people with eating disorders may engage in seeking appearance-related feedback from AI.

When users ask chatbots or AI image tools for comments on their looks, they can receive biased or unrealistic feedback shaped by cultural stereotypes. These systems often reflect societal beauty biases involving racism, sexism, ageism, and ableism. Over time, this can worsen body dissatisfaction and reinforce perfectionistic thinking, especially among those already vulnerable to body dysmorphia or disordered eating.

Supporting Loved Ones in the Digital Age

If someone you care about is struggling with body image or disordered eating, connection and understanding are essential. You can support them by:

• Encouraging open, non-judgmental conversations

• Promoting professional therapy rather than online advice

• Reinforcing body neutrality and self-compassion

• Helping them set healthy boundaries with technology

At Cedar Tree Therapy, we help clients in Whitby, Oshawa, Pickering, and across Durham Region develop healthier relationships with their bodies and with the digital world around them.

Eating Disorder Therapy in Durham Region

Cedar Tree Therapy offers compassionate, evidence-based eating disorder therapy for individuals across Durham Region, including Whitby, Oshawa, Ajax, and Pickering.
We provide both in-person and virtual sessions, helping clients heal their relationships with food, body, and self.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

1. Is AI safe for mental health advice?

While AI chatbots can provide general information and emotional support, they are not a substitute for professional therapy. It is important to note they are designed to always be validating to promote user engagement. AI lacks the ability to provide personalized guidance, challenge unhealthy behaviours, or accurately assess risk for eating disorders and body dysmorphic disorder. If you’re concerned about your mental health or body image, it’s best to seek eating disorder therapy in Durham Region from a licensed professional, such as those at Cedar Tree Therapy.

2. How can I tell if someone needs professional eating disorder support?

Signs that a loved one may need help include restrictive eating, compulsive exercise, frequent body checking, extreme concern about weight or shape, or emotional distress related to food and body image. Early intervention with a qualified therapist can improve recovery outcomes. Cedar Tree Therapy offers confidential support for individuals across Whitby, Oshawa, Pickering, and Ajax and virtually to anyone living in Ontario.

3. Can AI worsen body image issues?

Yes. AI chatbots and image-based tools can unintentionally reinforce unrealistic beauty standards or biased feedback. These systems may reflect societal stereotypes, including sexism, ageism, racism, and ableism, which can amplify anxiety, self-criticism, and disordered eating behaviours. Professional therapy provides a safe and evidence-based alternative.

4. How do I find eating disorder therapy in Durham Region?

Start by looking for licensed therapists who specialize in eating disorders and body image concerns in your area. Cedar Tree Therapy provides both virtual and in-person therapy for individuals in Whitby, Oshawa, Ajax, Pickering, and the surrounding Durham Region. Booking a consultation allows you to explore therapy options in a safe, supportive environment. If you’re tired of being in this alone, we are here to walk along side you.

About the Author

Dana Etherington is an Occupational Therapist, Psychotherapist and the owner of Cedar Tree Therapy, a psychotherapy practice located in Brooklin, Ontario. Dana uses evidence based treatment modalities to treat anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and eating disorders.

How to Help A Friend In Eating Disorder Recovery

When someone you care about is in recovery from an eating disorder, it’s natural to want to help, but knowing how can be difficult. Eating disorders are complex, deeply rooted struggles that go far beyond food or appearance. As a therapist who works closely with clients in recovery, I’ve seen firsthand how crucial support from friends and loved ones can be. Done well, your support can help reinforce recovery and rebuild trust in connection. Done carelessly, even well-meaning comments can inadvertently trigger shame or setbacks.

If you're wondering how to be a truly supportive friend, here are some guidelines to keep in mind.

1. Educate Yourself

Start by learning about eating disorders and what recovery actually entails. Eating disorders are not choices, they are serious mental health conditions with physical, emotional, and behavioural dimensions. Recovery isn't linear, and it doesn’t end with weight restoration or the ability to eat certain foods again. Understanding this helps you approach your friend with empathy instead of judgment or oversimplified advice.

Local Ontario resources to explore:

• NEDIC (National Eating Disorder Information Centre): Offers information, support, and a toll-free helpline across Canada.

• Body Brave: Based in Ontario, this organization offers virtual support programs for individuals and loved ones.

• Sheena’s Place: A Toronto-based community mental health charity offering free support groups and workshops (virtual and in-person) for people affected by eating disorders.

2. Avoid Talking About Bodies and Food

Even compliments like “You look healthy” or “I’m so glad you’re eating more” can be triggering. You don’t know how your friend interprets these comments, they might equate “healthy” with “gained weight,” which can activate eating disorder thoughts. These comments are unnecessary and perpetuate the faulty idea that the most important thing about a person is their appearance.

Instead:

• Compliment other attributes about them that are not related to their physical appearance. Their kindness, their thoughtfulness, their intellect.

• Focus on how they’re feeling, not how they look.

• Let them set the tone if they want to talk about food or meals.

3. Respect Their Boundaries

Your friend may not want to talk about their eating disorder, and that’s okay. Or they may want to talk, but not all the time. Respect where they are. Ask open questions like, “Do you feel like talking about how things are going?” rather than pushing them to open up.

Also, avoid becoming their therapist. Your job is not to treat them, it’s to be a steady, non-judgmental presence. If you're concerned, encourage them to reach out to a professional rather than trying to take it all on yourself.

4. Offer Support Around Meals (If Invited)

Meal times can be one of the most stressful parts of recovery. If your friend expresses that they’d like support, offer to sit with them during a meal or create a distraction after eating to help them cope with the anxiety.

Avoid watching what they eat or making comments like:

• “Are you sure that’s enough?”

• “I could never eat that much!”

• “You’re doing so well!”

Instead, try being a calming, normalizing presence. You can say:

• “I’m glad we get to enjoy a meal together”

• “Want to watch something after?”

• Offer distracting conversation, unrelated to food or appearance.

5. Be Patient with Setbacks

Relapsing back into disordered eating habits is not uncommon in eating disorder recovery. Don’t treat it as failure. Instead, show your friend that your care for them isn’t conditional on their progress.

You might say:

• “I’m here for you no matter what.”

• “You’re not alone in this. We can take things one day at a time.”

• “Have you talked to your therapist about how you’re feeling?”

It is likely your friend is already feeling a lot of shame. Scolding or lectures from you will only add to it. Instead, your steady, compassionate presence can help reduce it.

Final Thoughts

Your friend’s recovery journey is theirs alone, but your support can make an enormous difference. By listening without judgment, respecting their autonomy, and showing up consistently, you send a powerful message: You are not alone. You are worthy of care. You matter.

That message - more than any advice- might be exactly what they need to keep going.

If you or a loved one is navigating an eating disorder, I invite you to reach out. You don’t have to do it alone. To learn more about therapy for eating disorders or to schedule a virtual consultation, please contact me using the button below.

About the Author

Dana Etherington is an Occupational Therapist, Psychotherapist and the owner of Cedar Tree Therapy, a psychotherapy practice located in Brooklin, Ontario. Dana uses evidence based treatment modalities to treat anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and eating disorders.

A Compassionate Path to Eating Disorder Recovery

Eating disorders are complex. They are not just about food, weight, or appearance—they are deeply rooted in emotional pain and, often, a need for control or safety. Whether you or someone you love is struggling, know this: eating disorders are rarely simply about the food.

As a therapist who specializes in eating disorder treatment, I’ve had the privilege of walking beside clients through some of their most vulnerable moments. This work has shown me over and over again that recovery is not only real, but transformative. If you’re reading this and wondering whether healing is truly possible, I want you to know: it is.

Understanding Eating Disorders: More Than Meets the Eye

Eating disorders come in many forms and affect people across all ages, genders, body types, ethnicities, and backgrounds. They are not always visible from the outside. People of all body shapes and sizes can experience eating disorders.

Some of the most common eating disorders include:

• Anorexia Nervosa: Characterized by restriction of food intake, intense fear of gaining weight, and a distorted body image.

• Bulimia Nervosa: Involves cycles of binge eating followed by the compensatory behaviour of purging.

• Binge Eating Disorder (BED): Involves recurring episodes of consuming large quantities of food, often rapidly and to the point of discomfort, without compensatory behaviors.

• Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID): A pattern of eating disturbances often tied to sensory issues or fear of aversive consequences, not driven by body image concerns.

• Orthorexia (not yet officially recognized in the DSM): An unhealthy obsession with "clean" or "healthy" eating that can severely disrupt a person’s life.

While each disorder has unique traits, they all share a common thread: emotional distress expressed through food and the body.

Myths That Get in the Way of Healing

Eating disorders are surrounded by harmful myths that can delay treatment and deepen shame. Let’s dispel a few:

• “You don’t look like you have an eating disorder.” Eating disorders do not have a “look.” People of all sizes can experience eating disorders.

• “It’s just a phase.” Eating disorders are serious mental health conditions that require professional support and are not to be brushed off. They are the most fatal psychiatric illness.

• “If they would just eat, they’d be fine.” Recovery is not just about eating differently, it’s about healing psychologically as well.

• “They’re just doing it for attention.” There is immense shame that comes with an eating disorder and it is a mental illness that no one would willfully choose.

Letting go of these myths opens the door for empathy, intervention, and hope.

What Recovery Really Looks Like

Recovery from an eating disorder is not a straight line. It’s more like a winding path—filled with highs and lows, setbacks and breakthroughs. That’s not a sign of failure. It’s how real, meaningful change works.

Here’s what recovery may involve:

1. Reconnecting with the Body

Many people with eating disorders feel disconnected from their bodies—either ignoring hunger cues or feeling at war with their physical selves. In recovery, we begin to rebuild trust with the body: listening, responding, and caring for it rather than controlling or punishing it.

2. Addressing the Root Causes

Eating disorders often serve a function: numbing emotional pain, providing a sense of control, or coping with trauma, anxiety, or low self-worth. Therapy creates space to explore and heal these underlying issues.

3. Rewriting the Inner Dialogue

The inner critic in eating disorders can be relentless. Part of recovery is learning to challenge that voice and cultivate a new one- one rooted in compassion, curiosity, and self-acceptance.

4. Creating a Life Beyond the Disorder

As healing progresses, clients begin to rediscover who they are beyond the eating disorder - reconnecting with passions, relationships, values, and dreams that may have been buried or put on hold.

What Progress Looks Like (Even When It’s Hard to See)

Recovery looks different for everyone and progress can take many forms. Sometimes, it might look like one of these things:

• Eating in a social setting with friends despite feeling anxious

• Choosing rest instead of compulsive exercise

• Recognizing a trigger before acting on it

• Crying instead of restricting

• Feeling an emotion fully, without numbing

These moments are profound victories. They may seem small, but they are the building blocks of sustainable healing.

For Those Who Love Someone Struggling

If someone you care about is living with an eating disorder, you may feel confused, helpless, or scared. You don’t need to have all the answers but your support makes a difference.

Here’s what can help:

• Listen without judgment.

• Avoid comments about weight, food, or appearance. Take a neutral stance to all bodies and food.

• Educate yourself about eating disorders. Meet with an eating disorder therapist yourself to gain a deep understanding of this psychiatric illness.

• Encourage professional help

• Practice patience. Recovery takes time and there will be ups and downs

Taking the First Step

If you’re considering therapy- or just wondering if your relationship with food and body is something to look at- that curiosity is enough. The first step doesn’t have to be big. It might be a phone call. A journal entry. A conversation.

And if you’re further along in your healing, know that setbacks don’t erase progress. Every part of your story matters. Every part deserves care.

Final Thoughts: You Are worthy of recovery

Eating disorders often leave people feeling like the eating disorder is their safe place for finding their worth, validation and comfort.

Recovery is about coming home to yourself. It’s about learning that you are enough as you are- not because of your weight, your achievements, or your willpower- but simply because you exist. You are worthy.

If you or a loved one is navigating an eating disorder, I invite you to reach out. You don’t have to do it alone. Healing is possible, and you are deserving of it.

Let’s take that first step together.

To learn more about therapy for eating disorders or to schedule a virtual consultation, please contact me using the button below.

The Body Image Course is a wonderful self guided e-course to compliment therapy for people living with eating disorders and their support people. Through powerful video lessons, reflective journaling prompts, and unique guided meditations, you’ll explore the roots of body image struggles, uncover the toxic impact of diet culture, and learn practical tools to build body image resilience.

Overcoming Low Self Esteem

A Guide to Building Confidence

Low self-esteem can be a challenging hurdle to overcome, impacting various aspects of life from relationships to career ambitions. However, it's important to remember that self-esteem is not a fixed trait; it can be improved with time, effort, and a commitment to inwards reflection. Confidence comes from having a sense of control of our motivation and behaviour as well as a sense of agency in our environment. Confidence is a trust we have in ourselves and our own abilities and skills, that we believe we are able to get through challenges that come our way. Here’s a guide to help you boost your self-confidence and develop a healthier self esteem.

Understanding Self-Esteem

Self-esteem refers to how we perceive and value ourselves. It encompasses our beliefs about our abilities, worth, and potential. Low self-esteem can manifest as feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and even self-loathing, affecting our overall well-being and happiness.

Signs of Low Self-Esteem

Before addressing low self-esteem, it’s crucial to recognize the signs. Common indicators include:

• Negative self-talk: Constantly criticizing or belittling oneself. Similarly, being overly critical of others is also a sign of low self esteem.

• Trying to be perfect: Avoiding challenges due to fear of not being good enough.

• Social withdrawal: Keeping to oneself to avoid judgment or rejection.

• Perfectionism: Setting unrealistically high standards and being overly critical of oneself when they're not met.

• Difficulty accepting compliments: Feeling uncomfortable or disbelieving when praised.

Signs of low self esteem differ from person to person. Take a look at some of these signs of low self esteem and ask yourself, are some of my behaviours actually the result of low self esteem?

Strategies to Improve Self-Esteem

Improving self-esteem is a journey that involves inward reflection and taking a close look at your behaviours, thoughts and feelings. Here are some practical steps to get started:

1. Practice Self-Compassion

Be gentle with yourself. Understand that everyone makes mistakes and faces setbacks. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend facing similar challenges.

2. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Identify negative thoughts and challenge their validity. Ask yourself if there is evidence to support these thoughts or if they are simply self-imposed limitations. Working with a CBT informed therapist will really help you with this process.

3. Set Realistic Goals

Setting achievable goals can provide a sense of accomplishment and boost your confidence. Break larger goals into smaller, manageable steps and celebrate your progress along the way. This helps you to build mastery and not only boosts your self esteem, but your mood as well.

4. Focus on Strengths

Everyone has unique strengths and talents. Make a list of your positive qualities and accomplishments. Reflect on these regularly to remind yourself of your abilities and worth. If you find this process difficult, a good therapist will be able to assist you with identifying your strengths and help you to build off them.

5. Seek Support

Don’t hesitate to reach out for support from a skilled and qualified therapist. Everyone has blind spots in their personality that they may not be aware of. Working with a therapist will help you gain valuable insight on the root cause of your low self esteem, and how to let go of low self esteem moving forward.

6. Engage in Activities You Enjoy

Participating in activities that bring joy and fulfillment can enhance self-esteem and your mood. Whether it's a hobby, sport, or creative outlet, these activities can reinforce a positive self-image. Doing something that you are good at helps you to feel good.

The Importance of Patience

Improving self-esteem is not an overnight process. It requires patience, consistent effort and reflection. Celebrate small victories and be forgiving when setbacks occur. Remember, building self-esteem is a lifelong endeavour, and every step forward is progress.

Low self-esteem doesn’t have to control your life. By understanding and addressing the root causes, practicing self-compassion, and focusing on personal growth, you can cultivate a stronger, more confident self. Embrace the journey of self-discovery and believe in your ability to create a fulfilling and empowered life.

About the Author

Dana Etherington is an Occupational Therapist, Psychotherapist and the owner of Cedar Tree Therapy, a psychotherapy practice located in Brooklin, Ontario. Dana uses evidence based treatment modalities to treat anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), disordered eating and complex family relationships.

Body Shame Keeps Us Anxious & Distracted

We aren’t born hating our bodies, however most of us can find something we don’t like about ours.  Toddlers don’t hate their chunky thighs or chubby cheeks. This critical eye in which we view our bodies is something we learn to do. We learn it through small moments. We hear our grandmother compliment our sister’s recent weight loss. Our friend makes a comment while the two of you are out for lunch about how she must order a salad to stick to her diet. In these moments, we are subtly receiving the message that our body needs to live up to the thin ideal, thinner is better, and we must be in constant pursuit to be shrinking our bodies in order to be accepted, or to be viewed as successful or worthy.

We see and hear this type of messaging constantly, more than we might even consciously realize. We start to internalize the message of “your body isn’t good enough” until we think it’s our own voice in our head. It’s not. It's the voice of the body shaming society that we live in. 

Body shame is the intense feeling that there is something wrong with our body the way it is. This can lead to the relentless pursuit to change it or hide it. Body shame causes us to shrink the full expression of ourselves and tells us that our bodies are wrong because we don’t look how we “should”. Body shame can cause isolation, and can cause us to be distrusting of others. We don’t want to get close to others because we are scared of being judged, assessed, evaluated or hurt.

Where Does My Body Shame Come From? 

Your grandmother that compliments other’s weight loss or your friend that talks about their diet, they are not the root cause of your body shame. They are a small part of a much larger picture of generational dieting and diet culture disguised as promoting health that we have absorbed and understood as rules and expectations for how we should look. They haven’t yet begun to challenge and think critically about the systems that contribute to body shame. 

What Can We Do About It? 

We can ditch external rules about food and exercise. When you are hungry, check in with yourself and not a calorie counting app. Move your body because it feels good and lifts your mood, not to close rings. We can let go of external expectations and turn towards internal cues and what feels good to you.

We can have body shame free friends and role models that live in their body without apology, that live with food freedom and don’t let body shame get in their the way. 

When others make comments that perpetuate body shaming, gently explain why it is harmful. We are the people that make up society, so if we would like to change the body shaming ways of society we have to start at the individual level. 

The problem is not your body, the problem is your thoughts about it and the societal messaging we have received that maintains those thoughts. Body shame and living in diet culture keeps you busy, anxious and distracted. Worrying about how you look is a distraction from discovering true self and living freely. If you’d like to explore who you would be and what your life would be like without diet culture and body shame, get in touch with Dana for a 1:1 session.

Author Bio 

Dana Etherington is an Occupational Therapist, Psychotherapist and owner of Cedar Tree Therapy in Whitby, Ontario. Cedar Tree Therapy specializes in treating teens and young adults with anxiety, perfectionism and body image issues. 

www.cedartreetherapy.com

IG: @cedartreetherapy 

Fostering healthy body image

Perhaps you’ve noticed that you teen is overly critical of their body, and is making attempts to hide how they look. Bringing up your concerns with your teen’s body image can be a tense topic. This post is aimed at helping parents discuss the challenging topic of body image with their teens. This conversation can be important for all young people who are learning how to love their bodies as they change and grow. It is especially important if you suspect that your teen is struggling with body image and self esteem. 

Start the conversation with validation. Create an atmosphere of safety and openness by telling them they are not alone in what they are feeling. 

You could say something like:

“ It’s normal to have some bad body image days, some days where you don't feel so comfortable in your body.” 

Go on to say: 

“It's important that you know that your worth isn’t determined by your appearance. Regardless of how you look, you are still worthy of people’s time, attention and respect. I hear that you would like to have the “perfect” body. What I think you might mean is that you would like to feel comfortable in your body. We can feel comfortable in our bodies regardless of their shape or size. Your body is not something to feel shame or guilt about, your body does so much for you and serves you in so many ways.” 

The conversation can be concluded by reinforcing the teen’s own unique qualities and strengths that are not related to appearance. 

You can encourage your teen to try out the following practical strategies if they are struggling with body image. 

• Stop comparing. As hard as it may be, resist the urge to compare yourself to others.

• Unfollow social media accounts that lead you to not feel good about your body. Any accounts promoting potentially harmful behaviours or products don't need your attention.

There are some do’s and don’ts for promoting positive body image with our teenage children. As a parent, don’t comment on a stranger's body, your own body or your teen’s body. Even if you are making a compliment, remain neutral about bodies.
Lastly, the most important tip of all — model positive body image. Teens absorb so much about how they feel about their body from how parents feel about theirs. Remove all “diet” language from the family conversations. Modelling acceptance of your own body will help your teen with acceptance of theirs.

 Author Bio

Dana Etherington is an Occupational Therapist, Psychotherapist and is the owner of Cedar Tree Therapy.  Cedar Tree Therapy is a psychotherapy practice that serves clients 13 and up all across Ontario with anxiety and body image challenges. Dana’s eating disorder experience comes from working in adolescent residential eating disorders treatment centres.